NO MORE MR. NICE BAO (Nice Green Bo Restaurant)

As you all know, I’ve been spending a lot of time in Chinatown lately. And not just in Manhattan; in Sunset Park, Elmhurst, and Flushing as well. And generally, I’m not squeamish about eating at a dive with dirty floors and no place to sit.

With some notable exceptions, I have observed that many of the restaurants in Chinatown have either a “C” rating from the Department of Health or a “Grade Pending” notice. Nice Green Bo Restaurant has neither, which means the Health Department has yet to show up. And while I haven’t seen their kitchen, my guess is it won’t go very well when they do.

This Shanghainese joint has been a favorite of adventurous eaters in New York for years when it was called New Green Bo. On their 10-year anniversary (in 2009), the name changed to Nice Green Bo (they literally just covered up the word “New” on their marquee ). It is unclear whether they just felt they were no longer “New” or if there had actually been a change of owners. Now, I never got to taste the soup dumplings here back when they were still “New”, but after my recent not-so “Nice” experience, my only guess is that the quality has gone way downhill.

Upon entering this cramped little space, I got an overwhelming scent of mold. I decided to stay as close to the door as possible hoping that some of it would air out. I ordered my Xiao Long Bao (soup dumplings) and was also seduced by pictures and articles on the table of the scallion pancakes.

I know the Department of Health doesn’t rate the front of the house service, but maybe then the waiters would be less apathetic and robotic. But probably not. The hostess started seating me before I even came through the door. I could see her mouthing words to me through the window and grabbing menus. When I did order, the waiter was almost angry and grabbed the menus out of my hands. I’m sure this was just my perception. I don’t think anybody was purposefully being mean, but it’s evident that this place is a machine and nobody really cares.

Unfortunately, I cared when I found a long black hair in my soup dumplings. It was one of those hairs that doesn’t seem to end. It was almost comical. Like clowns pouring forth from a clown car, this hair never seemed to end. Again, I’m not squeamish and have often found hair in my food, put it aside, and kept on eating. Maybe the Health Department won’t stand for it, but I understand these things happen.

Except here, because of all the unappetizing elements (including the less than mediocre dumplings), it didn’t sit well with me and I left without finishing the food. Besides being hairy, the dumplings were also rather heavy and greasy. The wrapper was thick, but soggy. They were smaller and fatter than most of the soup dumplings in Chinatown and the interior was scarce in the soup department. There was no explosion when I bit into it, just a dribble of broth. The broth itself was overly salty and didn’t taste terribly fresh. The dumplings were lukewarm and the broth seemed like more fat than anything else (which is true when it comes to these broths, but a better version will not taste so blatantly greasy).

I’ve been around Chinatown, believe me. I don’t expect good or even friendly service at these hole-in-the-wall establishments. And I can tolerate a restaurant that’s not as clean as I’d hope and I’ve gotten used to not putting my bag on the floor (for fear of it sitting in the sticky, greasy whatever on the ground). I also can even handle a line cook’s stray hair accidentally falling into the food. These things happen. But a restaurant strikes out when they commit all these mistakes and also fail to produce quality food. And based on this experience, Nice Green Bo strikes out, May I suggest one more name change: Nauseating Green Bo.

Does Nice Green Bao have the best dumplings in NY? Maybe they did at one time, but now they only get a 3 out of 10 because besides having weak dumplings, the restaurant is rather dirty and run down. And that, unfortunately seems to carry over to the food.