THE BOTTOM DROPS OUT (Eton)

SADLY, ETON IS NOW CLOSED.

I tend to think it’s a problem when the innards of a dumpling fall out of the skin and never quite make it into your mouth. Unless you have some bad chopstick skills, this is something that should be dealt with in the making of the little pillows.

And while I didn’t quite lose the entire filling on one of the dumplings at Eton, the bottom half of the wrapper completely came apart from the rest. The sad wrapper lost its bottom and the vulnerable meat filling exposed its bottom.

Let me backtrack a little. Eton has been open in Brooklyn for a few years now (although they recently moved locations and opened up a second storefront) and has had some great reviews and local buzz for their made-to-order dumplings.

Eton is named for Chef Eton Chan, a renowned chef who brought his love for dumplings and Hawaiian style shave ice to the quaint yuppie-fied neighborhood of Carroll Gardens. It’s definitely a treat to find a serious dumpling house outside of the three major Chinatowns in the city. But in many ways, I’m not sure I can take this place too seriously.

Just like any self-respecting dollar dumpling joint in NY, Eton is tiny tiny tiny. There are a few bar stools to eat at, but I imagine most of the business comes from take-out. The menu consists of dumplings, ramen, and pork sliders (read: pork buns). And somehow we managed to try just about everything.

I liked the pork buns, although not nearly as much as others I’ve had around the city. The pork was tender and flavorful and the sauce was a bit sweeter than I expected. The ramen didn’t fare so well with a rather bland broth and a lackluster lineup of vegetables.

I chose the Sample Platter of dumplings to ensure I got the full experience. We were told it would take about 20 minutes, which seemed an unusually long time for dumplings. But we acquiesced and the cashier was just about right on with his time estimation. At least he was honest: those suckers did take a long time!

I imagine the wait time has to do with both a stack of delivery orders to get through and the fact that each dumpling is made to order. The storefront is built almost like a factory where a few guys are stuffing the dumplings. And then another guy cooks them. Still shouldn’t take 20 minutes, should it?

Well, I learned they have an interesting method of making them. Instead of choosing if I want my dumplings steamed or pan-fried, Eton does it both ways. First they’re seared until crispy and then water is added and they’re boiled to soften things up. It should have been an interesting juxtaposition of the two textures, but not so much. I found the skins very chewy and thick. I prefer mine much more tender and easier on the jaw.

The three dumplings I tried were the chicken, pork/beef, and vegetables. I like that they offer a sampler so you can get a taste of all the options, but at $7 it’s much more expensive than just about any dumpling spot in Manhattan. When has Brooklyn been more expensive than Manhattan?

I had a difficult time distinguishing the chicken from the pork versions. Both were rather bland but acceptable. The vegetable version was definitely interesting, but didn’t work for me. It was a combination of lentils and tofu. Both rather heavy options for dumplings. And they were mixed together in a salty, slightly spicy stew. I felt the heavy textures and flavors clashed with the wrapper, which itself could have used some lightening up.

I think the dumplings are sort of roughly prepared with a heavy hand. So there’s no balance in the construction and therefore, we ended up with messy, less than pleasant textures. Almost all the ones I ate fell apart due to the heavy fillings.

The order also came with a choice of three sauces, however it would cost extra if I wanted to try one of their other ones. I chose the Ginger Vinegar, the Plum Sauce, and the Sriracha. The Plum sauce was a little too thick, but had a nice sweet flavor. The Sriracha was not unlike the spicy stuff you get in a bottle. But the ginger vinegar was the one I was most excited for and it let me down big time. It had an off-taste that reminded me a little bit of the smell of Play Doh. I know that sounds weird. Maybe it’s from the addition of some soy, but it both brought me back and turned me off.

It surprises me to see all the good reviews on the web for these dumplings. It makes me question my experience. Did I come on an off-day? Or maybe the quality has gone downhill (most of the positive reviews date back to 2008). Or maybe some people don’t mind when their dumplings fall apart and they like to eat the wrapper and the filling separate.

Does Eton have the best dumplings in NY? It’s nice to see handmade dumplings in Brooklyn, but I think they need to re-think their recipes and techniques. They get a 5 out of 10 for having potential, but not great dumplings.