When Time Out published this list of 100 Tastes You’ve Gotta Try, I figured there would be some burgers, pizza, lots of ethnic food, a few hip cocktails or two. But I never guessed that this list would bring me to a strip club. A strip house, maybe, but a strip club?
And I remember when I first scanned their list back in December and decided to hit all 100 places, the item I was most intimidated by was not the pickled egg or the sea urchin toast. But it was in fact the Everything Fries at Robert’s Restaurant, which is a steakhouse located inside of Scores.
Scores is a strip club that’s been made famous by mentions on the Howard Stern Show over the years. I had actually been there before (not my choice) many years ago when it was on the Far East Side. Now it’s on the Far West Side of Chelsea and has its very own luxury steakhouse attached.
I was sort of hoping there would be a separate entrance to the restaurant and we could go sit at the bar and taste these fries. I’m not a big fan of strip clubs. Don’t get me wrong, I love naked girls. But strip clubs always freak me out. First off, the girls are all rather robotic and I find their desperation quite sad. And secondly, I never know where to look. I have an instinct to look away when a girl changes in front of me (out of politeness), but here you’re supposed to look. And I don’t want to make eye contact with them, so I look down at the floor. But, no that’s wrong. You’re supposed to look at them. But I don’t want them to see me looking at them and…. Oh, it’s just too much stress!!!
But here I was once again at a strip club. And if you can believe it, I was here for the food. We ended up sitting at the bar in front of the stage because the restaurant upstairs was ultra fancy and they didn’t have a bar of their own. We checked out the restaurant’s menu and it was absurd. A hamburger cost $34 (it included the everything fries)! And as far as I could see there were no foie gras pieces and we were not in Minetta Tavern.
All of the sides, including our fries, were $14. To keep my wallet in check, I opted for tap water only (the bartender must have loved me) and a side of the astronomically priced french fries.
Immediately, I could see why they’re called everything fries. They take a cue from the popular bagel option by adding all the usual bagel toppings. So here were sesame seeds, salt, poppy seeds, onions, garlic, etc. And instead of a side of cream cheese to dip them in, we got some spicy paprika aioli. It was all interesting, but nothing so unique that my tastebuds perked up.
The fries were crispy and addicting but the extra flavors were a bit overwhelming (they certainly don’t skimp on the seasoning). The garlic was so strong and plentiful that nobody wanted to talk to me the next day. I was afraid I had developed halitosis. The paprika aioli was flavorful, but also a bit too much. It seems that everything at Scores and the unseen Robert’s is over-the-top. After all, these are $14 fries in a strip club! And what else should I’ve expected?
Would Robert’s Restaurant’s Everything Fries make my Top 100 of the year? The flavors were too bold and lasted longer than I had liked, not to mention the pain of the ridiculous price tag. They earn a 5 out of 10.
Haha. Love it!