#80 – SCRUMPETS WITH MINT VINEGAR at THE BRESLIN BAR AND DINING ROOM

Once again Time Out New York released their Top 100 Dishes of the year and once again, I’m going to eat my way through every one. And no price point or subway delay will stop me. In no particular order, here’s my take on their Top 100.

I’ve now been to The Breslin three times. That might be a record for me. When April Bloomfield of Spotted Pig fame opened up the meat-centric gastropub in the hipster-centric Ace Hotel, I was intrigued and wanted to give it a try. We had a few really delicious dishes at the dark, busy bar. Both the lamb burger and the chocolate syllabub (which is sadly no longer on the menu) made my own Top 100 Dishes last year.

Then, we returned for a second time a few months ago to try one of Time Out’s other list items this year: the grilled cheese sandwich, which is a brunch only item. I was less impressed the second time around, especially with the overpriced and absurdly decadent sandwich. Service was strange and we left practically broke.

I had no reason to really return to the Breslin (unless I was craving that spectacular lamb burger), except there was one more list item that we couldn’t get last time because they don’t offer it at brunch. Sneaky, sneaky. They knew we had to come twice. Originally, I wanted to save some money by sitting at the bar and getting the Scrumpets (Time Out’s Number four dish) as a snack and then having dinner elsewhere. But we were hungry and we were here and so we found ourselves sitting at a table.

I was surprised that the crowd wasn’t as overbearing as my previous visits. I wonder if the hype has died down here. Or maybe their well hidden Grade Pending sign from the Department of Health has deterred people. Or maybe people are tired of spending this much money to leave hungry.

Because that’s what happened on our third (and most likely final) visit to The Breslin. We started with the Scrumpets, which are listed as a Snack and ironically ended up being the most food for our money. These are basically Britain’s answer to mozzarella sticks. Except there’s no cheese. Instead the three logs of brown fried breading were stuffed with a lump of fatty and flavorful braised lamb breast meat. Certain bites were a little too fatty for my liking, but the gaminess came through and a dip in the tangy and spectacular mint vinegar left my lips puckering for more.

The rest of the dishes were full-on jokes. We ordered a $16 salad that was comprised of some peas, radishes, shredded Romaine lettuce, and a green bean here or there despite the server’s promise of a bounty of ingredients (he must have been counting salt and pepper). It had a nice citrusy lemon oil dressing, but the portion size was teeny tiny and at $16, it was an unsettling experience. Next came the seafood sausage, which was a little bland and needed more of the beurre blanc to reveal any flavor.

But the crowning achievement (I say that ironically, of course) was the Whole Brook Trout entree priced at $29. We were warned that it was on the smaller side, but nothing could have compared us for what was placed in front of us. It was the thinnest fish imaginable. I understand that trout is a small fish, but add some vegetables or accoutrements to the plate. At least to make it look bigger than it was. There were a few drops of olives and watercress pesto here and there. This was a $30 dish and there was absolutely nothing to it! And to top it off, I found the taste rather off putting. The fish’s pink flesh had a very strong mineral flavor that didn’t allow me more than a few bites.

Some of the food at The Breslin is very tasty, but the pricing for these tiny portions truly pisses me off. I understand this is a hot NY restaurant and that it’s inside a trendy, expensive hotel. But, regardless, I expect to leave a restaurant not looking for the closest pizza place. The only way I would return to The Breslin is for some snacks at the bar. This is not a place I want to dine at because I constantly leave feeling as if I have been taken advantage of and the food is generally not worth it.

Would The Breslin’s Scrumpets with Mint Viengar make my Top 100 of the year? While the rest of the dishes here make me angry, I have to admit that these fatty snacks were the highlight of the meal, especially the amazing mint sauce. 7 out of 10.