WANDERING THROUGH ASIA (Plump Dumpling)

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but when it’s not intended as imitation and rather as just using somebody else’s novel idea, I’d say it borders on thievery.

The cute little dumpling figure outside Plump Dumpling is just a little too similar to the logo of the other East Village dumpling house, Dumpling Man. If Dumpling Man’s mascot is a super hero, then Plump Dumpling’s lipstick wearing dumpling face is his female counterpart. But the two restaurants have nothing to do with each other, although I bet the owners of Plump Dumpling would like you to think they do.

I’m being a little too harsh and snide with Plump Dumpling, but nothing about it is original. Not that an Asian dive in this city should really get criticized for being unoriginal. Any entrepreneur will tell you if an idea works and people will pay for it, then why not repeat it? But the problem at Plump Dumpling is the food is just not as good as its predecessors.

And neither is the service. I don’t expect much hospitality at those take-out Chinese restaurants, but when an employee points you to a table and a man disguised as a waiter comes to take your order, I’d expect some hint of service. The waiter in question seemed very confused. I can only take it that it was his first day on the job, his first day in this country, or his first day in a restaurant. Everything we ordered seemed to baffle him. And I even pointed at the menu in case we were dealing with a language barrier.

The menu itself was like an Asian diner – it seemed like there wasn’t a cuisine or a dish that was unrepresented. Summer Rolls and Banh Mi (both Vietnamese), General Tso’s Chicken (Chinese-inspired), Pad Thai (thank you, Thailand), and Yakitori (Japanese) all found their way onto this menu. No wonder the waiter was confused.

I gathered that this restaurant is Vietnamese owned, but this is either one well-trained chef or they’ve spread themselves too thin with the Asian options. Everything we tried was pretty stingy and tasteless. The summer rolls were maybe the worst I’ve ever tasted. They were two rolls full of lettuce with a small cold shrimp and a lack of any flavor. And this cost six bucks! They really skimped on the ingredients – in quality and quantity. Our Noodle Soup with Wontons was also flavorless and rather barren. I’m thankful the wontons themselves had a hint of ginger because the chewy noodles and thin soup had no flavor.

Our friend the waiter forgot to bring us our dumplings. That was the reason we came here in the first place. When we asked for them again, he brought them out and they were lukewarm. I guess the waiter just forgot where he was. I feel terrible if the guy is actually suffering from Alzheimer’s.

We finally got the mixed dumplings, which included two of each kind: chicken, vegetable, seafood, and pork. They looked like little balls. I couldn’t quite tell what kind of dumplings these were. They certainly aren’t the Northern Chinese style I’ve been tasting of late. Or if they are, they need to find a new recipe.

They’re irregularly shaped and looked like little dough balls. Each chewy bite was rather unpleasant. They were thick and doughy opening up to a generic ball of semi-moist meat. And I really couldn’t tell the difference between one filling and another. I don’t think we ever got the seafood dumplings and aside from the green coloring of the veggie version and the obvious lack of meat, these fillings all tasted the same. The veggie dumplings had some strange sauerkraut like filling. I supposed it might have been fermented cabbage. Is Germany in Asia too?

The dumplings were certainly plump, but again lacked much flavor or focus. I think that’s the big problem with this take-out spot that wants to be a restaurant. It’s all over the place. And if they just focused on an Asian specialty (I would assume dumplings would be the obvious choice based on their name) and put some money and love into their ingredients, then maybe we could have something here. But until then, Plump Dumpling is just a rip-off (in many ways) and is not worth a visit. I can’t even say the prices are worth it, which is a problem if you’re trying to emulate other cheap Asian take-out spots.

Does Plump Dumpling have the the best dumplings in New York? They should take a hint from other dumpling houses by focusing on one specialty and use affordable ingredients that are fresh and flavorful, but since they don’t, they suffer with a 4 out of 10.