#29 – SPICY PORK MEATBALLS at THE MEATBALL SHOP in New York

Once again Time Out New York released their Top 100 Dishes of the year and once again, I’m going to eat my way through every one. And no price point or subway delay will stop me. In no particular order, here’s my take on their Top 100.

SADLY, THE MEATBALL SHOP IS NOW CLOSED.

“You gotta have a gimmick if you want to get ahead” Stephen Sondheim brilliantly penned those lyrics for the musical Gypsy in 1959. Now, besides the fact that he is one of my personal idols and also wrote the song “Ladies Who Lunch”, Sondheim doesn’t have much to do with the New York food scene.

But the idea of a gimmick pushing you to success (whether it’s as a stripper or a restaurant) still very much resonates in New York today. A perfect example of that is all the accolades and crowds The Meatball Shop in the Lower East Side attracts.

And I admit when I first heard about a restaurant opening that focuses on one particular food item (in this case, meatballs), I was intrigued if somewhat amused. In fact, the idea was so alluring that I even stopped in a few weeks after the opening just to try one meatball as a mid-meal snack. And the fact that a single meatball is a possibility at the bar makes it that much more worthwhile.

However, I’m dismayed to report that upon a full sit down meal at The Meatball Shop, it does not live up to its hype and it seems that they use the meatball gimmick as a crutch. And somehow people seem to fall for it.

The spicy pork meatballs are the ones on the Time Out list, but the shop also regularly offers beef, chicken, vegetable, and a rotating special option. You pick your ball and then you get to choose your sauce: classic tomato, spicy meat, pesto, parmesan cream, mushroom gravy, and a daily special. The menu is hard to decipher and poorly designed so I’m relieved Time Out gave me some direction, otherwise I would have been lost with what to do with my balls.

I guess they offer sliders, heroes, meatball smashes (seems like a hero with cheese), and everything but the kitchen sink (which I think are the meatballs with a few sides). Time Out suggested I order them naked with a side of foccacia bread. The menu is built as a checklist and although there’s a waitstaff, I guess the checklist is to minimize interaction with the servers. It feels very snobby and elitist when put that way. Don’t talk to the help! I ignored the checklist and told the waitress what I wanted – the old fashioned way.

We ordered the spicy pork meatballs with parmesan cream (another Time Out recommendation), naked – although they’re not really naked at all since they were covered in a gloopy white sauce and a showering of parmesan cheese. I’m sure the term naked was only used as provocative word play.

Maybe it was “naked” because there was nothing to hide the flavor of the meatballs and sauce. Or lack thereof. I found the meatballs to be overly bready and a little too firm. I’m sure flour or bread was added to the mix for some texture, but it lost that homemade feeling that everybody wants from meatballs. The spicy part of the meatball was the addition of red pepper flakes, but they were sort of sporadically mixed so some bites had too much heat and others had not enough.

Finally, the parmesan cheese sauce was way too thick and it reminded me of something that would come on top of a frozen dinner. The whole experience (aside from the loud and rambunctious scene) felt very institutional. Instead of eating lovingly prepared meatballs by an Italian grandmother, I felt like I was eating mass produced lazily constructed dinner from a hospital or high school cafeteria. I was surprised they weren’t also serving lukewarm soups, fake chicken nuggets, and boxed milk.

The one thing they did get right was the dessert. They’ve gotten some great press for their homemade ice cream sandwiches. Again, you can mix and match and we picked espresso ice cream between ginger snap cookies. Both the ice cream (which looked hard and icy when the guy scooped it out) and the cookie were perfect with great textures and flavors. I’m not sure how this fits into the whole meatball concept. But if they decided to do away with the meat and use the ice cream sandwiches as their selling point, that’s a gimmick I could get behind. Until then, I’m afraid this place is not much more than that. And I’m amazed I’m the only one who can see it.

Would The Meatball Shop’s Spicy Pork Meatballs make my Top 100 of the year? Unlike everybody else, I don’t get it so they get only a 4 out of 10 since I can see past the hype and gimmicks to taste their less than mediocre food.