Okay, seriously, if you call yourself “Perfect Pizza” then your slice better blow my f***ing socks off.  I want to walk out of that pizzeria completely sockless.

Well, needless to say, my feet were fully covered when I walked out of Patzeria Perfect Pizza.  And it’s a good thing too, since it was freezing outside.

Having nothing to do with Patsy’s, Patzeria is as in the Theater District as you get.  It’s right next to the Paramount Hotel amongst all the Broadway theaters.  I don’t think there’s another pizzeria that’s in the thick of it (except maybe Sbarro in Times Square).

I find it strange that Patzeria has not received much attention on the internet.  I can’t find a review on any of the other big pizza blogs.  It’s almost as if this place is undiscovered.  Or nobody takes their “perfect pizza” claim with any sort of seriousness.  Well, I found myself in the area for lunch one day, so I figured I’d give it a shot.  I wanted to see what perfect pizza tasted like.

The slice was greasy, but not overly so.  The crispy thin crust had a slight sweetness but not much char and the tomato sauce had the right amount of seasoning.  The cheese was where the slice stumbled.  It was plentiful, but a little mealy.  I did more chewing than I expected.

If this is perfect pizza then I give up.  I mean, it was fine.  It was actually better than the chain pizzerias surrounding the Theater District, so I’d say it’s the best bet in the neighborhood (although Lazzara’s isn’t too far away) but it wasn’t sock blowing (whatever the hell that even means).

Is Patzeria Perfect Pizza the best pizza in NY?  It’s certainly not perfect, but it’s a pretty good example of NY style pizza so it gets a 6 out of 10.

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Category: Pizza

About the Author

Brian Hoffman is a classically trained actor who is now a full-time tour guide, blogger, and food obsessive. He leads food and drink tours around New York City, which not only introduce tour-goers to delicious food, but gives them a historical context. He also writes food articles for Gothamist and Midtown Lunch in addition to overseeing this blog and a few food video series, including Eat This, Locals Know, and Around the World in One City.

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